Pride & Suicide

Written by Timothy

Pride & Suicide

For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. (Romans 8:13-14)  

Many sitting in church live according to their sinful nature and they will perish in their sins.

They use their sinful nature to look spiritual and strive to live out the Bible by their own will and power. Such are often praised by the ignorant and naive. Indeed, in most churches everywhere those who wear the mask of false humility are applauded and promoted. After all who wants to follow the Living God preached by Paul? A Living God who is not only able to humble but will provide a demon to further the process. False humility is so safe, cozy, and comfortable that the sinful mind of man rebels at the thought of true Christianity.

These natural unspiritual men and women are “Christians” who will be found very wanting on Judgment Day because only those who are “led by the Spirit” are sons of God.

Only those who by following the leading of the Holy Spirit, and by that same Holy Spirit’s power, put to death pride are born again.

No one can commit suicide by crucifying themselves upon a cross.

In the same way, no one can crucify their pride to gain the humility of Jesus.

Someone else has to crucify you. Some power outside yourself must attack and kill your pride, if it is to die upon the cross of Christ.

Refuse the work of the Holy Spirit that seeks to put to death your pride and you will only gain the far more sinister arrogance of false humility.

Do not let anyone who delights in false humility disqualify you for the prize. (Colossians 2:18)

Many are far too deceived by their deceptive lies to admit the sin of false humility let alone to renounce pride and gain the humility of Jesus. They are blind to their pride just as Jesus declared: Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean. (Matthew 23:26) But those who are following the Holy Spirit, walking as Jesus walked, see through their whitewash. “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean. (Matthew 23:27)

But rather than dwell upon the unfaithful in the land, let us look at how we may also be given by God the humility of Jesus.

Let us discover how Paul gained the humility of Jesus so that we too may be blessed with repentance and pass the test when persecuted or prosecuted because of the Word of God.

I served the Lord with great humility and with tears, although I was severely tested by the plots of the Jews. (Acts 20:19)


The sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. (Romans 8:7)

Pride cannot deal with pride.

Pride cannot humble itself unto humility.

It is impossible for you to deal with your pride.

You cannot make yourself humble. Pride cannot, will not, willingly humble itself.

Pride will strive to humble itself and then become proud of the attempt to humble itself.

Pride will always point to the fact it has strived with great effort to humble itself, thus only producing the deceptive sin of false humility.

Pride, because its efforts prove futile, will, when push comes to shove, become enraged against God and the godly because its efforts were not appreciated. but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast. (Genesis 4:5)

Pride cannot be reformed, pride cannot be humbled, and pride cannot be kept in a cage.

You are powerless at every level to become a person of humility.


Pride & Suicide 

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. (Romans 5:6)

The only solution for pride is to kill it. Your fleshly efforts to humble yourself, to become humble, count for one big fat zero. This is why only those who are “led” by the Spirit to put to death the misdeeds of the flesh by the power of the Spirit are being born again. For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, (Romans 8:13) because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. (Romans 8:14) And suffering in the body against pride is just what most will not allow God to do. Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in his body is done with sin. (1 Peter 4:1)  They would rather be Pharisees or Sadducees than disciples of Jesus, because, otherwise, they would have to actually pick up their cross and follow God on His terms.

Indeed, the deceitful nature of sin will fool us into thinking we are humble when we really are nothing.

Unfortunately, most in the church today are not taught that their sin of pride is first and foremost “deceitful.” As Paul taught I teach, you were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires (Ephesians 4:22). In short, the desires of pride are deceitful to the core of its dark unclean center.

We all have laughed behind their backs at those who are proud of their humility. Sad problem is few are those who have honestly, as the Holy Spirit worked the crucifixion of Christ in their life, wept again and again over their sins of pride.

The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you are spirit and they are life. (John 6:63)

Just as a person cannot commit suicide by crucifixion, you cannot humble yourself unto humility.

You might get one hand nailed to the cross, but that is about the level of futility that can be achieved when it comes to deal with our pride.

Many a person I know still attempts to prove their humility by demonstrating for me how they are attempting to crucify their pride.

Since I know the power of God that deals with pride, it is easy to spot those who are either lying or still in the vain attempts to humble themselves. Fact is, those who are experiencing the power of God to humble, in association with the living Word of God, judge as Jesus judged – that is – only as they hear. By myself I can do nothing; I judge only as I hear, and my judgment is just, for I seek not to please myself but him who sent me. (John 5:30)

It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.” With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence. (2 Corinthians 4:13-14)

Why are we so offended by godly preachers that speak of what they know?

Are we to listen to preachers who know not what they speak of?

Who in their right mind would go to a doctor that does not know about the medicine he prescribes? Yet, the church idolizes the preachers that do not understand the offensive message of the cross.

The reason, the church desires preachers that proclaim what they do not know, is because they do not want to know the power of God that would crucify their pride. Pride always desires its lies about the Truth.

You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desire. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. Yet because I tell the truth, you do not believe me! (John 8:44-45)

Preachers who live a lie, most will call godly. While godly preachers, like the Devil, they will persecute and prosecute because pride desires to keep its lies. After all what gives pride its power? The answer: lies. It was a lie that the Snake in the Garden of Eden used to deceive Adam and Eve and he continues to deceive the swarming mass of individuals in the world by feeding them the lie that they are like God, humble.

You have need to escape by letting God place your pride on the cross to be crucified by Christ, and then to be on guard against all who will not give up their false humility. The failure to guard the humility of Jesus may cost you your salvation and relationship with the most loving God.

Do not let anyone who delights in false humility disqualify you for the prize. (Colossians 2:18)


This is how pride is dealt with.

Only by allowing God to put you on the cross. An outside force must deal with your pride if you are to overcome this damning to hell sin. After all, pride was the reason Satan became the Devil. Pride was the reason Eve wanted to be like God. Pride was the reason Adam let his wife sin first. Pride is the most unjustifiable lie of sin that one can commit, because we all have nothing to be proud of. We are created beings. We have and are nothing except that which God has given us, the ability to be and become. Satan is the father of all lies because Satan embraced the lie that he was something.

This is one reason Jesus never said, “Remember prosecutors and police.”

When it comes to lying about our pride we are just as sinister as the Devil.

This is why prosecutors and police around the world and down through history are more like the Devil than other members of society. Such are happy accusers, like Satan, who conjure up lies to embellish and promote their lust for prosecutions.  The solid fact is King County Prosecutors in Seattle, Washington State are, and I quote them, “happy” to use the “full force”, i.e., full force of legal corruption to destroy those they aim at. Prosecutor David Seaver, Prosecutor Jason Simmons, Prosecutor Kathy Van Olst, Prosecutor Lisa Johnson, Prosecutor Mark Larson, Prosecutor Nicole Weston, Prosecutor Rich Anderson, Prosecutor Dan Satterberg, Judge Lori K. Smith Such, because of their pride, slap the love of Jesus in the face while spitting upon His sacrifice of loving the sinner. See other websites listed below.

One day every prosecutor and policeman who mixed lies with facts will be thrown down. God declares with a loud voice from heaven that such satanic accusers and liars will be thrown down into hellfire.  Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say: “Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Christ. For the accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down. (Revelation 12:10)

This is just one reason Jesus never said, “Remember prosecutors and police.” I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’ (Matthew 25:43)

Much more on this later – God willing.

Moses was able to write that he was the most humble person on the planet without becoming puffed-up because God’s power was crushing his pride. Those who choose to walk in the humility of Jesus will come to understand that what I write here is true. For all others this will be nothing more than parables or platitudes. He told them, “The secret of the kingdom of God has been given to you. But to those on the outside everything is said in parables (Mark 4:11)

Now Moses was a very humble man, more humble than anyone else on the face of the earth. (Numbers 12:3)

Those who are experiencing God’s power that crucifies their pride can be seen by 3 things.

  1. Pride is so nailed upon the cross that they can write about their humility in Jesus. When I speak of learning from my own sermons, of experiencing a double-edged sword, I know the humility of Jesus that I speak of.
  2. Their exemplary obedience toward all of Scripture by following the Holy Spirit. When I obey scripture and others, who do not seek to obey all of the scriptures, persecute me it speaks volumes about their need for the humility of Jesus.
  3. Their exemplary love for God and their fellow man. Which is exactly what Jesus told us would demonstrate to a lost religious world who belongs to Him.

Paul was able to write with total sincerity that he was the least of all apostles because his pride was on the cross, crucified with Jesus. As we shall see below this was no abstract proclamation of a lie about humility, but a God sent demon of an issue.

For I am the least of the apostles and do not even deserve to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. (1 Corinthians 15:9)

So how is it that “I” can spot a man or woman who is lying about how humble they are? Because I have learned the painful lesson that one cannot commit suicide by crucifixion.

Early in my following Jesus I, like the twelve disciples, attempted to deal with my sins through my efforts. I sought to humble myself and to wrestle out pride in my life. Only to discover, as God came closer, that such efforts only produced more sin. In powerlessness, I surrendered my pride for crucifixion.

I let God put the nails in my hands so that I would no longer reach out for lies of false humility.

I surrendered my steps to God that He might nail down my feet that were swift to defend myself.

I said, “Yes, Lord,” faster and faster as His waves of conviction flooded my soul and spirit. With less and less frequency would I walk in the lies of false justifications, or strike back to push back, at the moments that exposed my pride.

A few individuals sometimes with decent hearts will ask, “What makes you different that you can walk with God like that?” The answer is simple and is the same reason I can spot false humility a mile away. Someone that is crucified with Christ can easily, way too easily, spot a person of pride who lives a lie. A person filled with the humility of Jesus, rather than their own humility, can see a Pharisee or Sadducee for who they are.

A person overflowing with the sufferings of Christ, that produces the good fruit of humility, can smell the foul order of the rotten fruit called false humility.

When one is on the cross with Jesus it ain’t hard to spot who has their feet firmly planted on the world.

Indeed, since being crucified with Christ is an ongoing process, God striking daily and hourly to gain more true humility of His Son in us, those who surrendering to the sufferings of Jesus can spot instantly who is living a lie.

Like Isaiah, though a godly longtime prophet, was still convicted afresh and knew that he was a man of “unclean lips.” Isaiah preached and lived the Word of God for decades, yet when God drew closer he cried, “Woe to me!” I cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty.” (Isaiah 6:5)

Many a preacher, teacher, or elder in the church turned their back on such persevering suffering against their pride a long, long time ago.

What damnation hangs over them if they still claim The Name.

Consider Paul’s Demon

Even with the slander about Paul the Galatians welcomed him.

To their amazing credit they welcomed Paul even though it was his illness that presented the opportunity.

As you know, it was because of an illness that I first preached the gospel to you. Even though my illness was a trial to you, you did not treat me with contempt or scorn. Instead, you welcomed me as if I were an angel of God, as if I were Christ Jesus himself. What has happened to all your joy? I can testify that, if you could have done so, you would have torn out your eyes and given them to me. (Galatians 4:13-15) 

Consider Paul who not only was crucified with Christ, but was given a demon to torment him just to keep him from pride.

You are telling me that Paul would not be able to discern those who are experiencing God’s power that demolishes pride, from those who by their own controlled methods are attempting to humble themselves?

Do not be a fool, those surrendering to the power of God are also given the gift of discernment to see through unclean spirits.

This calls for a life of faith. Real faith and a surrendered life.

Are you willing to trust a God who will appoint a demon to torment you? Not an appointed demon because you have sinned, but a tormentor on its way to hell to keep you from possible sin?

If pride becomes indigent when real sins are pointed out, how much more will pride rear its ugly head when pointing to sins that have not taken place?

So, again, the question is, “Are you surrendered enough in faith to allow God to allow a demon to torment you?”

A demon, who when tormenting you, everyone else can see? Paul is able to “boast” of his weakness because such godly boasting is filled with the offense of the cross.  Do not be fooled by those with false humility because their boasting contains flattery the world will applaud. Paul boasted not of humility but of weaknesses, purity, obedience to God’s Word, truthfulness, and how the world hated him. Those who use flattery of their false humility use it to promote themselves, but those who boast of weaknesses point to the wounds from God’s discipline.

To fellowship with Paul, to boast with Paul’s weakness, you would have to point to a God that sends a demonic spirit creating an illness. Only true disciples of Jesus would dare embrace such a servant, filled with the humility of Jesus. Are you even humble enough that you would not shy away from such a godly servant?


I Paul persecuted the followers of this Way to their death, arresting both men and women and throwing them into prison, as also the high priest and all the Council can testify. I even obtained letters from them to their brothers in Damascus, and went there to bring these people as prisoners to Jerusalem to be punished. “About noon as I came near Damascus, suddenly a bright light from heaven flashed around me. I fell to the ground and heard a voice say to me, ‘Saul! Saul! Why do you persecute me?’ ” ‘Who are you, Lord?’ I asked. ” ‘I am Jesus of Nazareth, whom you are persecuting,’ he replied. My companions saw the light, but they did not understand the voice of him who was speaking to me. ” ‘What shall I do, Lord?’ I asked. ” ‘Get up,’ the Lord said, ‘and go into Damascus. There you will be told all that you have been assigned to do.’ My companions led me by the hand into Damascus, because the brilliance of the light had blinded me. (Acts 22:4-11) 

Some may call it Photokeratitis or ultraviolet keratitis, a painful eye condition caused by exposure, of insufficiently protected eyes, to the ultraviolet (UV) rays from either natural (e.g. intense sunlight) or artificial (e.g. the electric arc during welding) sources. Photokeratitis is akin to a sunburn of the cornea, but whatever label man would like to call it, Paul knew that it was a demon sent to torment him.

A demon to remind Paul of his past sins.

An unclean spirit to humble him and to keep him from getting into pride.

When Jesus confronted Paul on the road to Damascus the bright light blinded him, but the healing was not total. God left room for a demon visitation.

So again, I ask,”Do you really want God to humble you of your pride?”

If you answer that you do not have that much surrender and faith, fine, admit it, but do not slander me by mouthing off that I know nothing of the power of God to humble a man.

If you still believe this is a bunch of puh-hooy then contact me and we can agree in prayer that God show just how real His power is to humble.

So powerful that like Moses, a man who can write that he is the most humble man on the face of the earth without noticing himself.

And no, I do not claim such.

This demonic torment that was not just physical but spiritual, because it reminded Paul day after day that he had imprisoned and tortured disciples of Jesus at one time. How humbling and what a reminder of the very thing Paul would not want to remember.

Think this is a lot of mumbo jumbo?

Then do this.

Right now pray, “Lord, show me whether what Timothy is talking about here is true or not. Amen.”

Then brace yourself for the Scriptures and the Power of God to smack you hard. Jesus replied, “Are you not in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God? (Mark 12:24)

Deep Conviction

How could Paul know for sure that the church in Thessalonica was loved by God?

What was the tell-all sign that demonstrates God really is pouring out His Holy Spirit upon a congregation?

Conviction, deep conviction, while growing in the fear of the Lord, is how one knows. If you do not see deep conviction over the matter of pride, then you can be sure God is not dwelling upon the congregation.

After all, God hates pride and arrogance. So solid is this hatred God has for pride that He will send a demon, if necessary, to keep us from pride. After all Satan was kicked out of heaven because of his pride, while Adam and Eve lusted for the arrogance to be “as God.”

To fear the Lord is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech. (Proverbs 8:13) 

Most churches and the vast majority who claim The Name have no conviction, let alone “deep conviction.”

Their response to God is based upon the words of men commenting on Scriptures, not the cut to the heart conviction where God slam dunks their pride and sins.

Their feeble and futile attempts to deal with sin are nothing more than a self-controlled suicide effort to die to sin.

…because our gospel came to you not simply with words, but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and with deep conviction. (1 Thessalonians 1:5)

Keep in mind, if you think I do not know the power of God that crushes pride, you might be given a demon to prove the point.

I have experienced the crushing blows of deep conviction many, many, many times. My experiences on this matter are real, tangible, and painful because God really did convict by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Put another way – the best way. If you hunger and thirst for righteousness, I am testifying to the fact that God is able to make you a man or woman of humility, obedience, and love. The only way is the narrow road way that submits to Him, according to all Scriptures.

This is why it is critical to your spiritual health to fully reject those who walk in the darkness of false humility.

Praise God for His loving power that blesses those willing to be turned from their pride, because mighty are His workings. When God raised up his servant, he sent him first to you to bless you by turning each of you from your wicked ways.” (Acts 3:26)

What made things different from others is simply this, saying “yes” to deep conviction and declaring surrender to each and every wave of conviction over sin that God lets wash up against my soul, spirit, and body. When deep called to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me. I surrendered to the waves of discipline. (Psalm 42:7)

While the vast majority, when God confronts them, persecute, prosecute, and slander. Those who do surrender I choose to humble myself with and become part of the small flock that finds godliness by becoming weak.

While most become embittered against God and godly preachers, I followed Paul as he rejoiced in his weakness.

To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. (2 Corinthians 12:7-9)

Pride is put to death by surrendering to God’s death blows, when they come in His timing and according to His depth.

Reject God’s timing, by trying to get ahead of God’s strikes against your pride, and you will evidently give up allowing the Holy Spirit to crucify your pride.

Attempt to co-op God’s blows against your pride and you will soften the blows and wind up with false humility.

The only hope for gaining godly humility is to surrender at the moment, every moment, every time to the power of Christ’s humility striking at your pride.

Finally, if you claim to be humble be prepared to fellowship with me about the blows, the strikes, the thorns, the whippings, and repentance you have experienced in Jesus and by the power of the Word of God.

Indeed, many could benefit from hearing about how you have “suffered in your body” against your pride as the Holy Spirit wounded you.

For as all true humble Christians know, it is only through suffering in one’s body that sin is done away with. As Paul’s demon was physically real and Moses’s hardships in the hot desert from a grumbling congregation cost him from being able to go into the promised land, surely all who claim to be humble can speak of their sufferings through Jesus that dealt death blows to their pride.

Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in his body is done with sin. (1 Peter 4:1)

If you are going to talk about your humility, or let others talk of your humility in Jesus, then be fully prepared to prove it by showing me your wounds from being crucified with Christ. Share with me how hot the baptism of fire was or how the mighty Holy Spirit wind toppled your house of pride.

T. Williams
If anyone does not love the Lord–a curse be on him.
Come, O Lord ! (1 Corinthians 16:22)

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Examining today’s wisdom, madness, and folly.